(Begin Narrative)
Frantically, I searched through my home for the proper tools to conduct the ceremony before time ran out. Pulling a long, thin box off of a shelf, I smiled, having found what I was looking for.
I gently lifted a thin parchment from my table, still wet with the dark ink which comprised the ancient scripture. I carefully folded my sacred document into three sections of about-equal size and slipped it into a dusty sleeve from the box on my shelf. Whispering the incantations, I sealed the artifact with my very own saliva: a tribute to the adhesive spirits. Lifting my magical line-drawer once more, I etched mystic letters and numbers into the package, drawing on secret codes and obscure abbreviations to finish the deed.
Key in hand, I reached down, unlocked a special cabinet and withdrew a selection of highly-valued royal seals. Affixing a single seal to the top-right corner of my creation, I breathed a sigh of mixed relief and despair, for I had nearly exhausted my entire resource of seals.
Etching my personal aura into the top-left section, I completed the ritual just in time. I ran out to the sacred location, deposited my compilation, and raised the ancient flag, signaling my request for assistance. No sooner had I done so than a white chariot arrived, bearing the insignia of the official guardians of the nation's most valuable messages.
The mailman smiled, took my envelope out of the mailbox, and pushed the flag back down.
(End Narrative)
I can understand the need, hundreds of years ago, for hand-delivered messages. When the messenger hawks just couldn't fly quite that far on their own, it became necessary, on special occasion, to send some daring horseback-rider on a long and perilous journey across tall mountains and dark forests to inform the king of the neighboring nation that an attack was imminent. I get it, really.
But the year is no longer 201. It's 2010. Nowadays, most human beings (at least those living in this nation) access their cell phones, laptops, and PDAs more frequently than their mail boxes. When I fill out a form electronically, sign up for an online news letter, or converse with my friends via email, instant messaging, and social networking sites, I need not worry that the USPS might lose the envelope, or that it will take a few days to arrive, or that all of my stamps are 1 cent short of the newly-increased postal rate. The internet was invented and implemented decades ago. Why in the world do we still use the mail?
Some people don't have access to electronics. Okay, fine. For the population out there that owns homes (and thus mailboxes) but not computers (nor the ability to visit a public library), fine; let them use the mail. But when I need to pay my electric bill, I am going to be able to see the message more quickly, save it as a task on my to-do list or calendar, and forward it to anyone else who needs to see it if it could please just come in an email.
Think about it. When companies mail bills, notifications, or advertisements via the US Postal Service, who is really winning out?
- Not the environment. Tons of paper is being wasted in letters, envelopes, stamps, and return-address labels.
- Not the company. Think about how much it costs for all of those supplies, let alone the manpower and resource depletion required to print, fold, seal, stamp, and mail all of those letters.
- Not the consumer. The recipient just ends up with a mailbox full of difficult-to-sort-through junk-mail, too much paper to fit in their recycling bin, and completely avoidable paper cuts.
And think about how often mistakes are made. Ever get someone else's mail? Someone else ever get yours? Anything ever get lost, destroyed, or stolen in the mail?
Email is instantaneous. Email gets to the correct recipient. Email can be deleted, forwarded, or replied to easily, quickly, even effortlessly.
If you send me an email and don't hear back after a reasonable span of time, you can be annoyed with me. If you send an actual letter and don't hear back - well, take that up with the USPS. I don't remember ever getting it.
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